Most of July has come and gone with barely an entry from me. I have been so overwhelmed with work and Mother-the-Yearing and talks and parades and lessons! But according to almost everyone else – so have you!
Today I read for the first time my niece Karyann Doty Parkinson’s blog – it is incredible and I had to “steal” her entry for today… I hope she won’t mind! But before I get you Hooked on her blog let me tell you about this incredible young mother! First of all she is my youngest sister Tamy’s daughter. Smack in the middle of six kids, third to the oldest (just like me!). Karyann and her husband are taking a bit of a break in Foster parenting because she is threatening to delivery a way too early baby boy and is on (or should be) full bed-rest.
Good luck to you my sweet little niece – wish you could be with us this Saturday for Grandma Madsen’s 80th party!
A friend of mine posted something on Facebook yesterday about accidentally hurting her little one’s feelings and the lingering guilt she is feeling for doing so. It reminded me of a story.
Once when I was about four or five I was driving in the car with my mom. We had just pulled into the garage and I did something naughty (I can’t remember what, but I think I called her a rude name or something). My mom got upset and reacted strongly, probably more strongly than the situation required. I was so hurt by her reaction that I was just sitting in the back seat, sobbing uncontrollably.
Then next thing I knew my mom whipped open my door and scooped me up in her arms, cuddling me and telling me how much she loved me. (Now I’m crying all over myself, remembering how special that moment was–pregnant). She kept saying how sorry she was and that she loved me and I put my little four year old arms around her neck and told her I loved her too.
Since becoming a mom that memory means so much more to me. I hope my mom doesn’t mind me sharing it. To me though, it’s a reminder that moms aren’t perfect and we mess up, but the most important thing is to admit our mistakes to our kids and to love them up as much as we can. I have always known that my mom is my biggest cheerleader. She loves me so much and that love is so important!
I’ve learned something important as a mom from that experience as well. There are times that I get mad and lose my temper but when I tell Frances that I’m sorry for shouting and for getting angry, it is such a special feeling to hear her say, “It’s okay, Mommy, I love you too.” A child’s forgiveness really is great motivation for doing better. And I think it helps Frances learn the importance of sincere apologies and recognizing how our actions affect other people.
We’re all learning here and in all honesty, adults make more mistakes than kids. I hope one of those mistakes isn’t failing to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.
Love you Mom!